Forward.

I may not know what to do with myself. I may not cry when I need to, and cry when I know it's inappropriate. I may be the most sensitive person in the entire world or just be a cold-hearted woman. I don't know where I'm going with my life, I don't know who I want to come along with me. It's been hard choosing the right ones. The right one. The one worthy of holding my hand 'til the end of time. It's been a long journey and I know it's nowhere near the end. I just hope it gets better. My soul is hurting, I have a hole. A huge hole in my heart, telling me to stop thinking, to stop feeling, to just go with the flow. I just can't do that. I wouldn't imagine my life without emotion, without laughter, tears, a bit of adrenaline, truths and lies. I wouldn't imagine my life without excess or restraint. I just wanted to be happy and I tried desperately to find those who made me happy, not knowing that it's not people that make me happy, it's what I choose those people to be what makes me happy, and the way I feel about them is what makes my heart ache. If only I could start thinking about what I want instead of what everybody else wants I would be so happy. 

I may not know what to do with myself, but at least I know what I don't want to become and I'm heading towards it. 

Huecos, de nuevo.

Y pensar que duró años. Pensar que en un día se esfumó, como se esfuman las nubes cuando sale el sol. Duele porque se siente como que a uno le arrancan de un manotazo un pedazo de corazón que tenía nombre. Duele por saber que la conciencia está limpia y que eso no trae satisfacción. Por lo menos no inmediata. Creo estar en lo cierto pero no me creo dueña de la verdad. Creo que es real su necesidad de tener razón, tan grande su falta de atención que puede tergiversar la verdad a niveles increíbles. 

Esta vez no ganó nadie. No ganó ella, no gané yo. Las dos perdimos, yo por decir la verdad y ella por mentir.